To Half and Half Not

"Duality is the nature of your earth plane," a deep, sonorous voice boomed out of the pale, thin, balding gentleman. He was wearing an expensive, well tailored suit of foreign cut. He had a few long strands of gray hair on the side that he combed over his bald spot, to no avail. "I, Infinito, say that you must conquer this duality to achieve the unity of the higher dimensions of existence. If you do not, your world will be destroyed."

 

"And where exactly are these higher planes of existence?" a tall, tan, well built young man asked from the back of the auditorium. His long, blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail. He wore a black muscle shirt and shaggy cutoff jeans. 

 

Naieva, standing on the side aisle, ducked behind a large potted plant. She lifted the long, straight, blue-black hair off of her almond face and put it behind her ears, revealing eye sockets that went all the way to the sides of her head. As she did this her eyes traveled to above each delicate ear and she saw the two speakers simultaneously. She gasped as her knees buckled involuntarily. She reached up and felt her breast pounding like a primitive drum. She had never felt this way before.

 

The elderly man shook violently for a few seconds, then the voice proceeded. "It's all right young man, we understand you are skeptical. Come forward and join us in peace and harmony, leave your anger behind and..."

 

"And what?" the young man said, "become a mindless zombie like the rest of these people here? You're a fraud just taking these idiots for a ride, that's all."

 

"We must forgive him," the speaker went on calmly. "It is understandable that one who has not yet experienced the higher dimensions, as all of you have, would think such base thoughts. Let us now center with each of you voicing your own personal inter-dimensional mantra."

 

Naieva felt faint and needed some fresh air. She adjusted her eyes to normal, put her hair down in her face, and walked quickly toward the back door. The young man followed. Before she reached the door he touched her shoulder from behind.

 

"Where are you going?" he asked.

 

Naieva was startled to see the man she had noticed interrupting the proceedings. "Oh! Nothing, I mean nowhere. I mean..."

 

"Sid. Sid Ire," he said. "And your name?"

 

"Naieva Tay."

 

A shrill cacophony erupted in the hall. Voices of every range of pitch and volume mumbled various unintelligible syllables, from "Om" to "Yabbadabbadoo." 

 

They covered their ears. Sid grabbed her hand and pulled her outside. When the door shut it was quiet.

 

"God, what stupidity. Why are you here?" he asked her.

 

"I was just walking along and saw the sign. This is my first time out of the house."

 

"Seriously? You look around my age. Twenty-two, three? What do you mean, first time out of the house?"

 

"Yeah, it's weird, I know. But my parents have like kept me at home because of my..." Naieva looked away.

 

"What?"

 

"Nothing. Why are you here if you think this is just bogus?"

 

"I'm in a band, Pair O'Dee. It's written like just a couple of capital Ds next to each other. Get it? We make fun of this kind of shit. I just come to things like this for material."

 

Naieva looked at him hard. True, he was handsome and muscular, but she felt nothing. She remembered when she split her vision and saw him and the trance channel guy at the same time. Highwire tension hummed down her spine and pooled in her pants.

 

A loud crash startled them. They looked over to the edge of the building and saw a ceramic pot in pieces on the pavement. A huge Chinese man with a crew cut and ill fitting suit splitting at the seams looked away awkwardly.

 

"That's my uncle, Fok Dup," Naieva said. "I guess my parents didn't trust me and put him on my tail."

 

The man tried to appear nonchalant and went to lean his elbow on the stone ledge the pot had been on. He missed the ledge and fell on his face. 

 

Naieva squealed with laughter. "Some spy, huh?"

 

"A regular Charley Chaplin," Sid joined.

 

The man jumped up surprisingly quickly for his size and ran around the corner of the building out of sight.

 

"So are you like seeing anyone right now?" Sid asked. 

 

"What do you mean, seeing someone?" she replied defensively.

 

"You know, dating anyone." His eyes traveled over her like a sports car hugging the road around curves.

 

"If this is my first time out of the house, how could I be dating someone?"

 

Sid awkwardly looked down: "Duh..." 

 

She said: "Listen, I want to see the end of this. Why don't you wait here and we can talk when it's over?"

 

He replied: "Why waste your time with that shit. Let's go get something to eat, or something." 

 

After she glared at him, he added, "OK, whatever."

 

"Cool," she cooed. "Later."

 

"See you then, then."

 

Back inside after the talk: "I. M. Deway," he said and extended his hand toward her. "I'm the channel for Infinito. And you are..."

 

"Naieva Tay." She shook hands. His was cold and clammy. She felt disappointed.

His voice had lost the commanding tone and was now rather squeaky and shy. The channeling was over and they stood on the floor in front of the raised platform. Several members of the audience were waiting to speak to him, but he had singled out Naieva from the crowd first.

 

"Infinito said you were The One." He gawked as his eyes locked on her breasts.

 

Naieva gently grasped his chin and lifted his head till he looked her in the eyes. She pulled out the handkerchief from his breast pocket and dabbed at the drool from the corner of his mouth."The one what?"

 

"The Chosen One to become my other half to lead the people in the battle against ignorance, to spread your legs...I mean, the Truth." He fumbled with his red power tie.

 

"You stay away from her!" Sid was storming down the aisle toward them.

 

Deway straightened, expanded. "Be gone, you mortal fool. Away!" Infinito's deep tone returned.

 

They faced each other, inches apart. Dark clouds formed above them, lightning flashed, thunder boomed.

 

"There is simply no proof that God exists, let alone other dimensions, you old lech. You obviously use this crap to get young babes in the sack."

 

"And you cannot understand that which can only be understood with intuition. You're so chained to rebellion you block out the possibilities beyond."

 

Naieva heard buzzing and felt dizzy. Something was stirring in her but not quite coming to the surface. She pulled back her hair, her eyes split to her ears, and she saw. She moaned with passionate heat.

 

The two men stared at her in shock, speechless.

 

Naieva approached them, her eyes still apart. "I see now that by yourselves you guys are way boring. Together you are the perfect man. Would you both be my boyfriend?" 

 

The men looked at her, and then at each other.

 

"Something just happened to me, I can't explain it. But seeing her that way I realized how opposites interact on the earth plane to form a unity," Deway said to Sid.

 

"Yeah, I can dig where you're coming from," Sid said back.

 

The two men embraced and kissed, then walked away from Naieva, arm in arm.

 

"Wait, where are you going?" she cried.

 

They ignored her and went through the curtain to the accompaniment of an angelic choir. Light filled the stage. Naieva slumped into a heap on the floor in darkness. Uncle Dup came and picked her up. "It ok, honey. First time mostest hard. We go home now?" 

 

As they walked through the hallway, two mirrors hung opposite each other. Naieva stopped, lifted her hair, rolled her eyes back, and saw herself doubly split into infinity.